Category Archives: Activities

Shit Dancers Say

1. I am SO bruised right now

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2. If she tells me I am in the wrong position one more time I swear to God…

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3. When in doubt leg mount (not to be taken seriously)

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4. I can’t wear open toed shoes.. my feet are disgusting

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5. I can’t drink tonight I have dancing tomorrow

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6. Everything hurts

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7. Please, I beg of you, don’t make me improvise

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8. If she tells me I am out of time one more time I swear to God…

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9. I have twenty hours of dancing next week- don’t even talk to me about being busy

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10. I fucked up on stage do you think anyone noticed?

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11. I have floor burn

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12. Pass me the deep heat

Kad ti se sekretarica pod vuce pod sto

13. Bitch, I ain’t too old to dance

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14. We should use that move at clubs

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15. Please, I beg of you, don’t give me an ugly costume

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16. She put me in a crop top…

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17. She put her in a crop top…

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18. Why am I not that flexible LIFE IS NOT FAIR!

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19. #AbbeyLeeDanceStudios

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20. Did you see that routine on SYTYCD last night? Average at best.

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21. Why am I not Beyonce. But actually everyone says that.

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Why Bikram Yoga is the worst thing. Ever.

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Walking into my Bikram yoga class for the first time, I was feeling fit, healthy, motivated, and even a little bit indie for going outside my regular routine of banal gym sessions and running. Little did I know what was in store..

The room was stifling. Hot doesn’t even begin to describe it.. It was all-encompassing humidity that made it difficult to breathe before you even threw in the yoga poses. Then there was the smell. I don’t know what it was, but it sure didn’t smell hygienic.

So I was lying there in Savasana, trying to get comfortable which believe me is bloody impossible when there is sweat dripping from every pore of your body- once again to reiterate this was BEFORE the poses even commenced, and in waltzed my teacher signalling that the class was about to begin.

After about five minutes of strenuous poses which we had to hold for extended lengths of time and repeat, I was parched and leaned down to my drink bottle, only to hear the teacher yell at me (yes there was yelling in a yoga class)  “I will tell you when you can drink”. Sassy bitch I thought to myself, but I put my water bottle down and waited for the one designated drink break in the entire ninety minutes.

After this first experience it may surprise you to find out that I did in fact go back. I decided that I might get used to it, and the regulars doing the classes did have the most phenomenal bodies. However, for me Bikram only seemed to get more and more painful.

The worst part about the classes is that you do the same poses in the same order for the same amount of time every session no matter what studio you go to, there is absolutely no variety. So after about three sessions I already knew what was coming.. and that meant I knew when the really awful poses were going to crop up.

Bikram also ends up taking up a whole lot of your day, by the time you get there, spend your hour and a half doing the class, go home and shower, half your day is gone!!

If anyone is interested in giving Bikram a try- after reading this it is beyond me why you still would, but if you are keen I highly recommend trying hot yoga over Bikram.

Hot Yoga only goes for an hour, is not as hot and it is different each time you do it. Also the teachers don’t yell at you…

Here’s the link to my favorite hot yoga studio http://kulayoga.com.au/

And please I beg of you do not go to a Bikram class unless you are prepared to feel the burning pain – both emotional and physical.

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